Angela

SIN

Atop a sunny hill rested a large radiant house, a comparable mansion to its surroundings. In this house, in the master bedroom I, an occasional resident, crept in. I still heard my stupid words in my head, What do you need? I heard Europa answer, Just some perfume and oils. Come on, little sis, you said your mom is never home. I always smiled when she called me that. 

I silently moved into the master bathroom and saw a beautiful and ornate bottle with a large gaudy peacock feather cap. Its label read ‘Teleia Anointments.’ I stared for a moment and began to hyperventilate. I grabbed it and dashed away.

I quickly but without slamming closed the door behind me. I felt the house stare at me. I stared at it, backing away slowly. I ran.

Europa was waiting in the car for me and she barely noticed when I nearly threw myself in. I looked at the house again and it glared back at me. I turned to Europa for comfort. She was supermodel pretty. The type of attractive that everyone knew she was so far and above the rest that she was near untouchable. She was checking her makeup in the mirror and was completely unfazed by my panting and furrowed brow. I handed her the bottle, “Here.”

She took them and when our hands were right next to each other I looked at her flawless pale skin next to my tan hand. I forgot for a moment that I was this color, that I didn’t look like her. Not even a little. I was 16 and she was 19 and until I saw our hands a part of me had thought that I could look like her in three years… well… maybe.

“Thannnnnk you!” she said with glee and no mind to the anxiety attack I was having. I looked back at the house. It looked closer. “Oh come on. Your mom won’t notice them missing.” Under her breath she added, “Bitch has tons of it, probably.”

“You don’t know my mom. She could- she would kill me!”

“Yeah, but she doesn’t need it. She probably doesn’t even use it. I will. Trust me, Angelaaaa, it’s worth it.”

“You gonna tell me about the guy at least? I mean other than the details I didn’t ask for.”

Europa looked at the house and smirked.

“Maybe. Probably. Eventually.”

I rolled my eyes at her, and Europa cackled.

BIRTH

Sunset. A simple urban lower class neighborhood in LA. houses tightly packed with too many cars out front and endless cracks on the street.

I was running down the street in sheer panic. I kept looking over my shoulder to look for it. I knew it was following but my eyes saw this empty street. 

I ducked behind a car and caught my breath for a moment. I peeked around back from where I was running. Still nothing.

I looked up. The dark clouds invaded the sky coming from the direction of the house. She knows.

From behind me there was a woman’s voice, “Are you okay?”

I turned to see an extremely pregnant woman in front of her house watering her plants.

I was on the verge of tears. The woman looked at me deeply concerned. She groaned a little as she bent over to turn off the hose and walked over to me.

She placed one hand on her stomach as she attempted to crouch down. As soon as she was in reach, I gave in. I put my face on her legs and wept. 

“Oh! Oh… oh, sweetie. Shhh… It’s okay. It’s okay.” 

I was comforted.

She brought me into her home and sat me down at her dining room table. She gently stroked my head and made a quiet shhh sound. I did my best to stifle my tears for her. She placed a glass of water in front of me and rubbed my back.

She said, “Here, sweetie, take a drink. Crying dehydrates you bad.”

I took the glass with two hands and shoved it, and I saw the amusement in her face. 

She sat down next to me and asked, “OK… I just want to ask if everything is alright. You were… I mean…” she gave a small but incredulous chuckle and leaned in. “ What’s your name?”

“… My name is… Angelia”

“What was that?  Angela?”

I just looked at her. 

“OK Angela, do you want to tell me what happened“

I took a few more short breaths, and I tried to speak, but there was a hand covering the speaker on my voice box. “I- I- I… My…” I felt the emotions bubbling up again, ready to start leaking out of my eyes. 

“It’s OK. You don’t have to talk yet. I just need to know if I should be calling someone… The police…? “

I cleared my throat. “No… No… They can’t.” 

“Your mom then?” 

I jumped up, and my voice found me “No!!!” I tried calling myself and repeated, “no. Definitely not her.“

“OK… Definitely not her then… Can you at least tell me why you were running down the street? You don’t look tweaked out or anything what are you supposed to be on medication”

I sat back down. “ No… I’m not crazy“ I looked up at her and couldn’t help but glare. A new emotion overcame me. “Do you know who I am?” 

That was rude of me. 

“I’m sorry. I’ve never actually said that before. My parents are important people… But they didn’t raise me. They sent me off to school as quickly as they could to let some tree… to let some people… raise me.“

She nodded, “I’m sorry… Is that what you said to not call your mom? She wouldn’t care?”

“It’s not that. She would hate me if you know what I did.”

“What did you do?”

I thought back to that house. I thought about my mother, throwing things across the room in anger. I thought about her vendetta. I thought about her kicking my brother out of the house for far less. Maiming him for just existing. 

The woman continued, “ sometimes mothers can be more understanding than you think.“ She placed her hand on her belly. “I know mine was. But I know the fear.“

I looked at her. How young was she? Pregnant? Started to shake. Otherworldly screams started to fill my ears. Beasts. Tigers, birds, women, my mother. Her screams were more terrifying than any beast. It cracked through the air like lightning splitting the sky. I started to get dizzy. “You don’t know my mother. I’ve been afraid of her my whole life.” I looked at her belly. “I am too afraid to have a kid because of her. I’m too afraid to be married or even be around boys because of her.“

“Why? Does she hate you?” 

I started rubbing my head in my face. “I feel dirty. I feel dirty. I feel so dirty!” 

The woman recoiled and pulled her arms close to her body. “What about a dad?”

“My dad… My dad?” it finally dawned on me. My mother really will kill me. “Europa, you bitch! My dad?! He would send people for me and everything the way he wants it. But he won’t do a damn thing himself. That asshole!”

“Dad isn’t an option either then… OK, who can I call them? Do you have a place to stay?” 

I noticed an older lady standing in the corner of a hallway. I gave a short YELP! But the pregnant woman softly embraced me, and stroked my hair. She said, “It’s OK. It’s just my mother.”

I started sobbing. I didn’t want that lady near me. In between crying breaths, I managed to make out a, “Please… no…” 

“It’s OK. Here. Drink some more water.“ She pushed my water cup towards me.  She walked away to talk to the lady. 

I overheard them. 

The lady asked, “who is she?“

“I think she said her name was Angela. She’s really distraught. I don’t know what she did but she is deathly afraid of her mother.“

“Why? What did she do?“

I thought the woman rolled her eyes, but held back a bit of laughter. “Ma!!“

“What? I’m just making sure you didn’t bring any drama into my house.“

“Oh, you love drama! Go back to your Novelas.“

Suddenly the woman braced the wall. 

“Sweetie, are you OK?“

In pain, “yeah, yeah. My water broke.“

Her mother and I looked at her legs. They were dry.

“What?“ The lady said, “I don’t see anything.“

Through clenched teeth, “yeah, a few ago, I already changed.“

“Change?! Why would you do that?! You need to go to the hospital, you are having a baby!“

My eyes went wide. Under my breath, I muttered, “no…“

The woman screamed from a long and painful contraction. “That was a big one,“ she quipped while out of breath. 

“How many minutes apart are you?“

“What time is it?“

“We need to get you in the car.“

“OK, OK. Just let me sit down a minute.“ The woman slides down the wall to sit on the ground.

“I’m getting my car keys“

The lady ran off and the woman screamed in pain again. I somehow made my way over to her, and with her scream, I put my arms up as if I was going to be hit.

“No, no, you can’t.”

She put her hands on her head and Doug and slightly with her fingernails into her scalp.

“Stop it! Stop!!! You’re calling her!”

The woman took another deep breath in and yelled in pain.

“You’re calling her! She will find me! Do you know what she can do?!”

I move back and forth in the hall. I crouched in.

“Stop it.!!!!! She will hurt you too for helping!!!”

The woman wasn’t listening.

“She will do worse than kill us!!! Stop it!!! T-terror!!! Madness!!!“

The woman screamed again. I lunged forward and grabbed her by the neck. I squeezed to make the noise stop coming out of her mouth.

“Stop screaming. Stop giving birth. She will hear.“

The lady came back in and gasped. She didn’t understand why I had to attack her daughter. She moved in and tried pulling my hands off, but the adrenaline made my grip too tight, then she tried shutting me away, but still nothing. Finally, she took her keys in her open hand and whacked me in the head with them. I fell back and felt the blood already dripping from my forehead.

“I’m so sorry.” I looked at them with tears in my eyes. “I hope she spares you.”

I got up and sprinted out the front door and down the street the same way I was running before. 

MARRIAGE

I never ran like this before. Twilight faded into night. I came over a hill and saw a hospital in the depression between this hill and the next. I jogged along the hills towards the back of the hospital and saw a series of large containers lined up, refrigerated, to deal with the overflow. I stumbled down the hill towards the containers, and I ran to one, placing my hands on it and touching my forehead to its cold exterior. I needed to catch my breath.

In between breaths, I muttered, “please stop… Please stop… Please stop….”

I heard voices in the distance. Male. 

I crept alongside the container and picked around the corner. Towards the end of this empty row were a pair of men opening the doors to one of the containers. Beside them was a gurney with a zipped up body bag. 

“I’ll go get the other one,” one man said before walking away. 

“Well well well! You weren’t leaving me alone with this thing,” the other men complained.

Then both men walked away. 

I kept staring at the gurney and my eyes refused to look at anything else I needed help with. I knew that with this I could find help. I cautiously tiptoed to the gurney. I placed my hands on top of the body bag. “Please help. Please help me. Polydegmon, Unseen, take me in and hide me.” I slowly unzipped the bag. About a quarter of the way open, the corpse’s left arm sprang out. It hung lifelessly to the side. I jumped from the air and 12 feet back. I stared for a moment, making sure it wouldn’t move again. 

I stared at the hand. There was a wedding ring. I heard her voice again. I didn’t know if it was a memory or from far away she activated every nerve on my back. My eyes swelled again. I didn’t know my body could produce this many tears. “No… Don’t… Hera…” 

I reached towards the wedding ring, but 3/4 of the way there my hand felt like it had touched a hot stove. I recoiled again. I spun around and vomited every last thing that was in my stomach. I heard the sound of gurney wheels on asphalt return to see the shadows growing and I dashed away.

I heard on the far side of the container again while the men stored the body in the container. I whispered to myself, “Please don’t see me. Please don’t see me.”

I heard one of them say, “Did you hear something?”

Still, I whispered, “Not you. Her. Don’t see me. There’s nothing for you here. Nothing you care about. The end of your work. The contract to oversee. Hide me, Death“

I closed my eyes and pictured the house again. Its vibrations, its hollow pitch of anger building and building until… Nothing. It fizzled out. The moment of anger had passed. I fell to my knees and pressed my forehead to the container again. “You’re gone? You aren’t angry anymore?“ I gave the greatest sigh of relief. “Thank you.“ I kissed the container and smiled.

I heard the sound of dripping water. Tripping off of soaked bodies. What? Thunder echoed. I turned around and saw them. Those things. The single street light cast two dark shadows making them seem even less human. I know they aren’t human. Their crab-like claws. Their unnatural movements. Kabiri

DEATH

I couldn’t believe my eyes, my words escaping in disbelief. “No… Oh Lord, no… Why…? Why did you send them?” I stumbled backward, seeking refuge in a container.

The figures suddenly exhibited awkward movements, as if still adjusting to the earth and air. My panic, previously filled with hysteria, transformed into a more strategic and measured state. I could hear my own breaths echoing through the air as I sprinted, my eyes scanning the surroundings. Spotting an abandoned building, I paused to contemplate. Yes, that would be my destination. With determination, I sprinted toward the dilapidated structure.

Inside the abandoned building, the broken window provided me with a slender passage. Once safely inside, I cautiously distanced myself from the windows and doors. My gaze swept across the desolate interior, revealing nothing but dried-out paper, broken planks, and shards of plastic. However, my eyes remained fixed on the broken window, searching for the slightest hint of movement.

Time seemed to stretch as I waited, my eyes locked on the shattered frame. The tension built as I peered out another window, catching a glimpse of their shadows—horrifyingly hideous shadows. My gaze darted from window to window, my mind playing tricks on me, until a sudden crash shattered the silence. A claw burst through one of the windows, causing me to yelp and cover my ears. Determined to escape, I hurried toward another window in the distance. With desperation, I removed my shoe and struck the glass, but before I could break free, another claw shattered the window, invading my sanctuary.

Wiping the glass shards from my face, my only option was to flee upstairs. My eyes darted across the surroundings until I discovered a door. I entered swiftly, slamming it shut behind me, hoping for a respite from the impending danger.

Desperately trying to catch my breath, I pleaded, my voice trembling with fear. “Please! I’m sorry! I… I’m okay! I don’t need you to be here! I am sorry! I… I am sorry. Is it…? But why? Am I Truly that horrible? Do I deserve this? Am I someone deserving of such persecution? I don’t know if this is an appropriate reaction. I felt… I felt calm. I felt you… not forgive but… pull. I felt you were tired. Is forgetting not the same as forgiveness? At least in the context of natural and divine law. That this offense is dropped, and I can go home. Ha! Home! Home?! What does that mean? You sent me away! You… you sent me away…”

As I poured out my confused thoughts, the sound of thunder rumbled once more, causing me to tilt my head in bewilderment. Suddenly, footsteps reverberated on the stairs, their weight shaking the room with each thunderous stomp.

“No. I don’t want to be here. I want to go. Send me away again. Please. Let that be it. Send me away,” I pleaded desperately, my voice tinged with desperation. Yet, my confusion intensified as I heard the familiar sound of thunder, and I took a step back.

“Mom? This isn’t you. Dad? Why?” I crouched against the wall next to the door, my trembling hand pressed against my forehead, trying to make sense of the chaos unfolding around me.

In an instant, a claw tore through the door, shattering any semblance of safety. My scream pierced the air, echoing my terror. The Kabiri burst through the door, their presence undeniable. I attempted to crawl away, but it was too late. The Kabiri seized me, their grip unyielding, sealing my fate within their grasp.

HOME

The lakeside lay sweeps, consumed by fire, with lifeless trees as witnesses. The sky bore an otherworldly hue, unlike any place on Earth I had ever seen.

The Kabiri held me captive, gripping my limbs tightly, suspending me above the ground. I fought with all my strength, my feet, head, and forearms flailing, but my struggles proved futile.

I attempted to maintain my screams, but I found myself in a desolate realm where no one could hear me, and the Kabiri remained indifferent. They carried out their master’s will, leading me into the waters of Acherusia Lake for the cleansing.

Their hands descended, attempting to submerge me. The cold sting of the water elicited an unintended reaction, granting me a momentary respite from their grasp.

Momentarily released, I seized the opportunity to resist, bringing my head above the water’s surface. Yet, it became a harrowing struggle as the Kabiri redoubled their efforts, pushing me back down into the depths. They succeeded in submerging my head, and I fought against the suffocating pressure.

The two of them, united in strength, kept me submerged. I fought to hold my breath, but the desperate struggle drained me. I was compelled to open my mouth, gasping for air that eluded me. The water engulfed me, and I succumbed to its suffocating embrace.

After what felt like an eternity, the struggle ceased. The Kabiri emerged from the water, leaving me motionless in its wake. The water grew calm, mirroring the serene reflection of the moon upon my face.

Am I finally somewhere…? A home? My eyes opened.

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The Thomas Guide

The Thomas Guide

  1. Sneak out of the house
  2. Find out where he is being held
  3. Take him somewhere safe and quiet
  4. Break his fucking heart

Should I feel bad about this? My sister said it is concerning that I even have to ask that question but really I feel nothing. I know from movies and television that this is supposed to be a horribly difficult thing. But in reality, I find myself with a certain lack of emotion. 

Thomas had always been kind and a gentleman, although I will say that he was painfully boring at times and quiet to the point there were times on dates that I would forget he was there. My friends had jokingly accused me of freeing myself up for the more politically available men. And I know it was jokingly but something about it still stung like an insult. Far from their intention I know but I always told myself that I would not be the type of woman to leave one man for another. Not to mention Thomas is not exactly responsible for his family’s political beliefs.

I think the very fact that I am going out of my way to break up with Thomas in person would show how caring and compassionate I am. So take that, Bitches! Now onto step one. 

Step 1:

“Rebecca!” I could hear my dad calling me from downstairs. 

I exited my room towards our double staircase. I looked over the railing and I saw my dad with a number of his friends and their families – more specifically their young sons… Now I know why my mother was adamant about Sarah and I looking ‘pretty’ today. 

“Rebecca, your mom has been calling for you.”

I hurried to the back patio and saw my mother and Sarah preparing hors d’oeuvres. I rolled my eyes and said quietly as I passed behind Sarah. “Does she really expect us to wait on these people?”

Our mother had us. 

She said in her mannish voice, “The people in charge, you mean?”

“At least they are cute.” 

She rolled her eyes at me.

“By the way, I need your help with something.”

“What is it this time?”

“I need to sneak out.”

“We are having a party tonight.”

“I know. I need to see Thomas though.”

“He is a political prisoner! You were just talking about how there were going to be cute guys here tonight.”

“I’m going there to break up with him.”

“Wow… you are disgusting.”

“I’m doing this to not be disgusting. Look, I even have a plan! I’ll pretend to get really sick and run upstairs. You tell mom I’m vomiting and don’t want to be seen by any of the guys. That gets her off our backs, and dad couldn’t care less about setting me up.”

“I’m not helping you with this. Too many times I have covered for you to see Thomas, now this?”

Fine. I don’t need her. I don’t need anyone’s help. Ever. 

It was dark by 8:00 that night. I knew I had to get this through quickly to be back in time. I spotted boy number one and casually stood next to him to get a drink. 

“That’s a tall glass you are pouring yourself,” he remarked. 

“It’s only punch.” 

“That should keep you satisfied for a while.”

“I see what you are getting at… and maybe… but I need a favor. I need to step out.”

“Favor? I don’t even know your name yet.”

I fight off the urge to gag and respond, “I don’t know yours either.”

“Fernando.”

“Rebecca. Now that favor? People will ask where I’ve gone and you say I just really really needed to go to the restroom.”

“I can do that.”

“Perfect.”

I stepped away and as soon as I could tell he wasn’t looking I found boy number two. I didn’t want to waste my time. “Hi, I’m Rebecca,” I greeted with an outstretched hand. 

He shook my hand saying, “Oliver.”

“Oliver. Oli, I need a big favor. I’m going to go to the restroom and then step out someplace private for a big phone call. Do you mind letting my dad know if he asks? He is very protective and I just don’t want him to worry.”

Easy enough. And now boy number three, Gus. The only one here I actually know. He was the quiet kid in class and it was always unclear to me but I think he was friends with Thomas. “Gus!” I greeted him with excitement and gave him a big hug. I could tell he was confused and he awkwardly patted me on the back. “Gus, I need a favor.”

“Hi, Rebecca, what’s the favor?”

“Oh Gus it’s a really awkward situation but I am going to go to the restroom and then take a phone call, but I really want to be alone for a while. After all that, I am going to take a walk around the neighborhood to clear my head and have my phone on Do Not Disturb. Give me your number so I can pick up your call when people are freaking out.”

“Why would they be freaking out?”

“My dad worries a lot.”

He looked at me with suspicion. “Do you know where they have them?”

“What?”

“Thomas and all the other Marians.”

“I…”

“The gym. They have them at the gym.”

“You should go quick.”

I looked at him with disbelief. 

“Go! Tell Thomas… tell him I’m sorry.”

Step 2:

See end of Step 1.

Step 3:

The school wasn’t that far away. Just a few months ago I thought I was saying goodbye to this place forever. It was an exciting day in February when my dad came home from work and said we didn’t have to finish the semester and had my high school diploma under his arm. I was really starting to become nervous about my semester grades, so I welcomed the news entirely. 

I walked to the far side by the entrance to the gym. There I saw Anthony. I personally consider him much luckier than me when it comes to this. He had god awful grades and was widely known as the school dealer. He now served as a guard for the Sullists. I approached quietly and gave an unintentionally loud “PSSST!” 

He spotted me behind the car that had been parked in the same spot for all of high school. He lowered his rifle.

“Anthony, it’s me, Rebecca.” I walked towards him.

“What the hell are you doing here?!”

“Cool your shit. I just need five minutes. I need to talk to someone.”

“I can’t let you do that.”

Of course you can. Just open the door you idiot! “Please Anthony,” I started to fake cry. “I’ll give you all the money I have, I just need to see him.”

“Rebecca…”

I stepped in close to him and put my hand on his chest and my head on his arm. “Please…”

Anthony looked around and said, “You can talk. Just for a minute. You better not be taking him out.”

“I would never risk my family’s lives for this.”

“Okay…”

The tricks I’ve learned.

Anthony opened the door to the gym and I saw hundreds in chains. Everyone was dirty and it looked like no one had been fed in quite some time. I spotted Thomas instantly. His curly bright blonde hair was now a dirty blonde and I could see matting like an ungroomed dog. I smiled, unnecessary but polite. “Thomas.”

He looked at me, but he didn’t smile. I wondered if this place had already broken him. He waddled up in his chains toward me. 

Anthony, sounding like an authority figure for once, “You got five minutes.”

I took Thomas’s hand and led him outside the door. He twitched in pain. I spotted the wire connecting his chains to one of four large poles in the middle of the room. But it gave him enough space that he could follow me to the side of the building.

Step 4:

“Babe,” he always called me, “what are you doing here?”

“Thomas…”

“I don’t get it. I thought we were done.”

“Thomas, I- wait what?”

“Our families are opposite sides, we can’t be together.”

“Oh, no it was. Wait a second, let me start over.”

“No, no starting over. Get the fuck out of here.”

“No. Okay, first off I told you to never cuss at me.”

“Who gives a fuck?!”

“Um, I do! I don’t deserve to be treated like that.”

Thomas scoffed and took a step back. “You are all the same. You elitist Sullist. Just like your entire family. Get out of here already, we are done.”

When he said the word ‘family’ it stung. “You keep my family out of this.” That wasn’t enough. I slapped his arm once, then twice more. “You keep my family out of your filthy fucking mouth.”

“Yeah, ok, see. I am glad this happened. Your family is backing a tyrant. A tyrant! It makes sense. You are a tyrant too. A hypocrite. I know you want to think that you are some saint and am this sinner that was your little project. Gus always heard how you talked about me. I deserve far better than you.”

“Deserve better than me? Look at where I am and look at where you are.”

The emotion drained out of his face. “Yeah… I see where I am. I know that if you wanted you could probably save me but I don’t want that. I would rather be in there with them then out here with you. Those beautiful, kind people.”

“Beautiful? Have you seen them?” I wanted to mention the boys from the party but I bit my tongue.

“More beautiful than you.”

“Yeah, okay then. Go back inside and date one of those dirty Marians inside.”

He looked confused at first. “I am not leaving you for someone else, Rebecca. I am just leaving you.” Thomas took two good steps back. He looked at me for a moment then went inside. 

I felt an anvil fall on my chest. I tried lifting it off but I could not touch it. My hands passed pointlessly through this hellishly ethereal weight crushing, squishing, killing my heart.

I followed him. By the time I looked in, he was already mixed in the huddled masses. I wanted to scream at him. I wanted to cuss at him. I wanted to shout his name. I wanted him… I felt the tears swell and I turned away as quickly as I could, losing balance and almost falling. I stormed outside and ignored the shouts by Anthony. 

I got home and everyone was looking for me as I expected. I ignored the lectures of my father. I didn’t look at my mother as she tried to scold me. I stonewalled Sarah who at first tried to make jokes but then grew concerned. I didn’t speak until…

The Thomas Guide (REVISED)

  1. Find a way to see him.
  2. Make sure we are alone.
  3. Get him to fall in love with me again.
  4. Reluctantly take him back.
  5. Break his fucking heart.
  6. Watch him be executed. 
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Broken Line

It was in the desert, far from the city.  At night you could see the distant glimmering lights, but this was a smaller, more humble town that I walked through. The type of town that takes one back to the simpler days of the early 2000s. Now a few centuries later I strolled through the swap meet admiring the various items with no intention to participate in the affairs of these simpler merchants, but unbeknownst to me, I was being followed. 

My parents raised me well. They were smart, but they told me I was even smarter. Sometimes when I watched tv, I’d marvel at the stupid protagonist being outsmarted in some crime drama.  I’d scoff when he, on occasion, fell into the simplest of traps. I always said, “That would never be me. I am not that stupid.” That was when I was a child. As an adult, it would seem that I kept the arrogance and pride but not the intelligence.

A shiny necklace caught my eye. For a moment I thought about how nice it would be if I had someone to buy it for. A wonderful wife to spoil. Blinded by this fantasy I reached for it but I touched the flesh of another. My eyes sailed from her fingers on the necklace up her arm and finally came to rest on such a remarkably pretty face. 

“Oh! Sorry…” she said. 

“No, I am sorry. Please, go ahead.”

“It’s a nice piece. For your girlfriend?”

“My mother. Her birthday is this weekend.”

“How thoughtful. What’s your name?”

I don’t often do it, but I wanted to see if she would be impressed so I gave her my full name, “John Okaigo.” I felt like royalty. I have never met a person not impressed by my last name. She smiled but the name seemed lost on her. I added, “Pretender to the throne. The High King.” She batted her eyelashes.

We talked for a while. She was shy and every time someone looked at us I silently thanked them for not shouting reverence to me. But now I wonder if shyness was merely a plot to entice me to the point I would hardly notice when she led me down an alleyway. She turned around smiling while still walking away. I smiled back just as two men grabbed me and a third put a bag over my head.

They removed the mask. I was on my knees surrounded by this band of criminals, one with a gun pointed at my head. Behind them were the ruins of a city destroyed a hundred years ago. In front of them, carved into a rock was a mausoleum. it had been damaged and at parts where the rock was blasted off I could see bits a hard steel wall.

“Do you know what this is?” A man in glasses spoke.  “Of course you do. Who around here doesn’t? It used to be a civic center. But it was turned into a grand tomb. Your forefather went mad in his final years. The great High King Sani Okaigo. He reshaped this land back in the 21st century. But he wanted to be here even after his death. Securing his legacy. But he took everything with him when he died. The wealth of a nation. And then that nation died.” 

I knew this story along with everyone I had ever met. I made sure of it. “You are mad at me for him?” I spat back. 

The bastard struck me across the face. “We’ve been watching you for some time. This family. You are his heir, you know. A direct line. Now we need you.”

I can’t truly say if my eyes welled from the strike or the threat of death. “Are you going to sacrifice me?”

He scoffed. “Show him.”

Another stepped forward and wiped away dust and sand from a metal panel. Suddenly, he was targeted by a dozen lasers. 

Then an old and electronic voice spoke, “No biological match detected, only the true living heir to Okaigo will enter.”

“You are going to open that for us. Get up.” He pulled me to my feet. “Don’t worry. We won’t kill you. Can’t take any chances with this bullshit.” He shoved me forward.

I took my first few steps fine. But as soon as I was in the shadow of this complex megalith carved into hundreds of years ago and infused with high technology, my body began to tremble. 

I quickly forgot the grave robbers existed and for a time it was only me approaching my forefather. This grand untouchable being that I had only heard stories of. A near deified icon that I had a personal connection to. A school boy with stage fright, I struggled taking another step towards the stage.

My heart beat harder than when I followed that girl or when I thought I was going to die a mere minute ago. I was approaching the father that I had always wanted to meet and was torn between intimidation and that longing for approval. It was finally here. My moment of recognition was finally here. I could leave this place and take my seat among the proper aristocracy and nobles. I would mingle with my Romanov and Selassie brothers waiting to be invited back to reclaim our thrones.

I made it to the panel. Butterflies fluttered. My throat tightened.  I could not speak. My eyes filled with water. 

I put my hand on the panel and used the tiny bit of air in my mouth to whisper, “Okaigo.”

The sudden sound of metal moving startled me and I remembered the men with guns. The lasers scanned me. It was him. It was King Sani. 

My mouth formed a smile unlike any I had ever experienced in his life. My facial muscles pulled hard but the smile forming in my soul was greater than anything I had ever experienced. 

The old electronic voice spoke again, “No biological match detected, only the true living heir to Okaigo will enter.”

It must have taken nearly a minute for what it said to dawn on me. A mistake. I touched the panel again. Nothing. I banged on it. Nothing. I stepped away then stepped back to retrigger it.

The old electronic voice spoke again, “No biological match detected, only the true living heir to Okaigo will enter.”

The grave robber asked, “Did you bring the wrong one?”

I recognized the voice of the girl and she said, “No, this was him. We made sure of it.”

“Damn bastard!” he exclaimed. 

I turned and shouted, Shut your fucking mouth, you pathetic trash!” I turned back to the panel “Read me again. Read me again!!!” I punched the panel and it came out again and read him.

The old electronic voice spoke again, “No biological match detected, only the true living heir to Okaigo will enter.”

“Liar!!! I am your heir!”

The grave robber said to the others, “Pathetic. Let’s go.”

The grave robbers left. But I did not notice. I argued with this machine for hours. I got tired after a while. In me, grew that heartbreak of betrayal. An emptiness that cannot even produce tears. I sat there with my eyes half opened until night came and still until the sunrise. 

A zombie I walked down the street of that same marketplace. One even older than the High King Sani. One, stories say, existed during the time of the Wise Kings of Okaigo, ancient to even Sani. 

I muttered to myself over and over, “Okaigo… Okaigo… Okaigo…”

I eventually made it home. A humble house, where my mom was on the living room couch. 

She got up and said, “John, where have you- John, child, are you okay?”

Hearing her voice reminded me of what the grave robber said. I slowly turned to her. “…bastard…”

She was offended. “Excuse me?!”

I looked down and knew that it would be a sin but this insult was not directed at her. This one.

“Not you… Me… I am a bastard. An actual bastard.”

She replied, “No, you are not. Your father and I were married.”

“Is he my father?” My anger grew. I thought about striking her. Is she lying about who my father is? I was raised an Okaigo by my dear father. But what did I owe her? It is clear. If she claims me as a son then she lied about who my father is. And how could this woman betray such a noble and virtuous man as the descendant of the High King Sani. “Did you not have an affair?”

She slapped me, hard.

I was taken aback by this. She had never hit me before. This woman who thinks she can humiliate such a holy line of men. Rage fueled my tired body and I could see the eyes of that great warrior from whom my father told me I was descended. Through his righteous anger he made right this land and I grabbed my mother by the throat. I pressed her against the wall and spat at her, “Adulterer!!! I am not an Okaigo.”

My mother squeaked out, “I swear to you. You are mine and your father’s.”

I couldn’t do this to my mother. Despite the fact how much I hated her in that moment. Although, walking away from her still breathing took a strength I didn’t know I had. Over the next week I took a hair from her and I visited my departed father’s mother, nne nne Ruth, and paid to have the DNA tested. I was my parent’s son.  The anger against my mother diminished only slightly. 

She would not see me anyway and I was forced to stay with my nne nne. I asked her about the Okaigo and she went on long stories about the deeds of our supposed ancestors and I would not break this woman’s heart. Instead I wrote down everything she said as gospel truth until I felt I had enough. Then it was time to find where it became corrupted. 

I looked at a family tree I had created. I looked across everything. Then I started doing individual research on specific people. 

At first I Googled Okaigo and the first news that popped up. It read “Head of the Okaigo family, dead at age 47. Ayuba Okaigo, is survived by his wife and step-daughter.” 

The grave robbers did their research as well. I wonder if they were the ones who killed them then had to go to me. 

Next I read about Kabir Okaigo, a war hero. Halfway between me and the High King. He had a memorial. A statue. A body buried underneath. 

I want to do things properly this time. I made a request to the city of Okaigo to have his body exhumed for scientific research. I was denied. Then I wrote a personal email pleading as his descendant to have it done. It was still denied. My ancestor’s body did not belong to his family anymore, it belonged to the state. This angered me. I took a pickaxe and a shovel. 

I arrived at the war memorial during the day to see if I had what I needed. I looked up at the depiction of Kabir on a horse reared on its hind legs as done when they die in battle. An inscription reads: I came from my father’s sword to tear the steel forged. 

I waited until Remembrance Day. Everyone would be in for the night. I was bold enough to start at dusk and tore into the ground with the pickaxe. Then when I passed the concrete and marble I went in with the shovel. I struck his coffin on the top making a dent. I tore it open with a ferocity they said he had in battle. I knew I would be related to this one. I must be. I stepped into the coffin and saw a corpse in full military garb. He wore the patch of our family on his chest. 

I stepped between his legs and knelt on his chest. I pulled some decrepit remains of flesh from his finger and arose. I nodded to him and stepped out. I covered the rest of the coffin. 

The next morning I visited a lab that I had spoken to before asking about a paternity test. I handed off the vial of remains I pulled from Kabir to an emotionless worker. I pulled out my phone and started reading through emails. I saw one from the library titled: WAS THIS YOU???

I clicked on it and saw an image of the opened coffin. I scrolled down more and saw a previous message: “I found some documents that you might be interested in since you are doing research on your ancestor.

“A letter from when he was captured believed to contain some code, Kabir to his father, Innocent. ‘Father, they know who I am and expect a ransom. These are not the devils of the enemy but senseless raiders taking advantage of the opportunity. I promise you that when you release me, we will continue our crusade against the true enemy. Though I have their blood, you are my father and you rescued me from their abuses. I will return home and do unto them what they have done to you and our people (for Okaigo are my people now) and we will have victory in the name of peace.’”

Their blood

I opened up another document. “Innocent Okaigo, wounded in action. An IED explosion leaves shrapnel all over the lower body. Sister Charity leaves the peace conference in India early to see her brother.” 

I found myself in India, two weeks later. I was a descendant of Kabir but Kabir was adopted. An orphaned war baby which Innocent had taken in after the IED left him unable to reproduce. I was still so disappointed by Innocent. I was so hurt. Kabir chose to take his name. I even had the document of adoption and no original name was listed. He wanted so badly to be an Okaigo that he fooled his descendants for generations. 

And now here I stand in front of the modest house of Mohan Das with that adoption document I printed out still in my hand. I put it in my back pocket. 

I had followed Charity, the only other line. The second to last truly famous generation. And it brought me here. A distant cousin of mine and the most direct line, the most direct descendant of High King Sani Okaigo. 

I waited for Mohan to get home and I snuck up behind him and put a bag over his head. I injected him with a sedative and took him on a private jet rented with nearlyI nearly the last of my money. He came to a few times and I re-injected him. That is until we were on the road to old Okaigo. We passed  through the desert that separated the modern city from the ancient one.

He, at first, instinctually thrashed about. I didn’t. I was calm. 

“It’s alright, cousin. Do you speak… No of course you don’t. You are trash. A forgotten line faded into obscurity. Do you know any languages? English?”

Mohan replied, “Yes, yes. I speak English…”

“Good, good. Don’t worry. You aren’t in any danger. We are family, and you don’t hurt family.”

“We are family?”

“Yes, Albeit distant family.  But family. Your mom’s grandma’s mom’s side. Traces back to here. Back to Okaigo. I don’t know if you know too much about the Okaigo Royal family. During the era of Reorganization, I believe to you it would be called the age of African Revolutions or New Revolutions, there were a number of kingdoms arising. There was a great visionary who became High King. And he is responsible for the stability of modern day Okaigo. And you see that over there? That large rock? That is the entrance to his tomb, it used to be a civic center until he went senile. We are going in.”

“Why are we going in?”

“Why not? You… you are his heir.” The pain in those words. Having to say them to someone else.

We arrived at the entrance and I dragged Mohan out of the car. I took the mask off his head and unbound him.

“Go towards that panel and it will let you in.”

Mohan looked at me afraid. In his fear, his self preservation kicked in and he thought to bargain. “No. I don’t know what will happen.”

“It’s harmless. Trust me. I had been up to it before.”

Mohan remained in place.

“Fine. Don’t try anything though because I have the keys.”

I walked up to the panel and touched it. The scanners came down and did their thing.

The old electronic voice spoke again, “No biological match detected, only the true living heir to Okaigo will enter.”

I walked back over to Mohan, “See. Nothing. Open it… Now.”

Mohan stood up, afraid and unsure. He shuffled through the sand. 

“What are you doing, brother? This is a great moment for you. I know you are afraid but this is a glorious thing. How long has the High King Sani Okaigo been waiting for his heir to return?”

Mohan shuffled up to the panel and said, “I don’t want this… I don’t want this! I am Indian. I don’t care about Okaigo, or an ancient king or Africa!”

I ran up to him fast and shoved him against the wall. He tried struggling and fighting back but one good punch put him into submission. During this his hand accidentally triggered the panel and the sensors came out. I stepped back and they scanned him up and down. 

The old electronic voice spoke again, “Biological match detected, the heir to Okaigo has returned.”

The doors rumbled and opened. I looked at them and saw how thick and full of devilish wires aimed at taking down grave robbers. I am not a grave robber though. 

I exclaimed, “It worked! It’s opening! We are the first to see beyond those doors since the death of King Sani.”

Mohan asked, “It is done? Can I go now?”

I looked at him with disgust, “Heir. Haven’t you heard the tales of what’s inside? All for you, heir!

Mohan, “Like I said I don’t care about that. You should have done it yourself…”

This hit me hard. I felt the emotions coming up again.

Mohan, “Why didn’t you though?”

I tried to cover my embarrassment towards the man I had been calling family. I knew it was a deceptive lie but I felt more comfortable in that lie. 

I replied, “It needed the heir.”

Mohan, “You said we were family. But when it scanned you it said no biological match detected.”

I felt the world, I felt the pain of gravity keeping us to this disgusting amount of chaos. I felt the embarrassment of every time I said my name. I felt the betrayal of my family. I felt a good life that was promised was completely empty. I should have been that man in obscurity with a basic last name that belonged to thousands of others. He should have been everything I was. But…

“You don’t even care do you?” I stepped towards him. “I lived my life on the stories I was descended from the great High King, the uniter of our nation. I was one descended from legendary kings in ancient Africa! One whose family others told stories of as they were the great heroes who defend us! And you are nothing. I am a child of Okaigo, not you, Indian!”

I grabbed him with both hands by the throat and I fell on him. He struggled greatly as I strangled him but this was not the true line! This was not a child of Kabir who tore down the weapon factories of the enemies single handedly. Look at this, High King!

Mohan stopped moving sometime before I let go. I turned and saw the scanners were pointed at us. When I looked at them they moved. Suddenly the doors slammed shut. 

The old electronic voice spoke again, “The heir to Okaigo is dead. This is unforgivable and will be punished.”

I shouted at it, “No! NO!!!! You asshole! Sani, you prickly crazy old fuck! Why am I not your heir? I was there! I was raised believing it. Kabir was as great as Innocent! My father was greater than you!”

I started pulling out those folded up papers in my back pocket. I threw the letter between Kabir and Innocent at it. I threw the adoption papers at it. I threw the paper showing I was Kabir’s descendant at it. I finally took out the keys to the car and cut open my hand and I threw my blood at the panel. 

I broke down in tears. I looked down at Mohan, the man who wasted one of the greatest gifts in the world. He could have been a king.

The old electronic voice spoke again, “Records confirmed. Lineage accepted. Current heir shifted, John Okaigo.”

The doors started whirring. Then they stopped.

“Access denied. John Okaigo, kinslayer.”

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